PlantSim - Series 2 - Episode 9 - Darwin's Discovery

Thanks, Keith. While they were up in the mountains, I had found myself in a forest. I couldn’t place the location, I had the feeling that I hadn’t been here before, not with Phideus anyway. I also had the bad feeling that I wasn’t alone…

My worries were soon confirmed.

Darwin: AAAAH! What on earth-

Man: You must flee! The monster will eat us alive!
Darwin: A monster? Where?
Man: Er, I dunno, BUT IT WILL EAT YOU.
Darwin: I-
Darwin: I don’t have any-
Darwin: No! Not my spleen?!


And so I watched the man run into the distance, before I had a chance to ask where I was.

Darwin: Well that was strange.
Kid: Yeah tell me about it.

Darwin: FOR THE LOVE OF- can’t people just say hello?
Kid: Er, hello?
Darwin: Are you lost little boy?
Kid: Heck no, I’m a dwarf. I’m 36 years old I’ll have you know.
Darwin: Oh, er, sorry. Wow.

Dwarf: You can call me Ronni.
Darwin: Hello, I’m Darwin. Well, must be going now.
Ronni: Where are you going?
Darwin: I’m trying to find my way out of this forest-
Ronni: Well you’re going the wrong way, that’s the lumberjack’s path in that direction. Plus the monster is there too. I’ve never seen you before Darwin, where did you come from?
Darwin: Well I was teleported here from…nah you wouldn’t understand?
Ronni: Eh?
Darwin: You have a monster here you said? I’ll take care of it.
Ronni: Really? Awesome! Let me take you back to the huts.

We travelled through the dense forest- yes, that means there are a lot of trees, Keith. We kept walking until we came to a small enclosure where small wooden huts stood.

Darwin: It seems to be raining.
Ronni: Yeah it does rain a lot here. Here it’s always Autumn.
Darwin: So why are the trees not brown?
Ronni: Evergreen, derrrrr.
Darwin: Do you want me to solve this problem or not?
Ronni: Don’t speak down at me young man!
Darwin: It’s kind of hard not to…



Ronni: Oh for Bilbo’s sake…

Ronni: Right you miserable lot! Get here now! This man is Darwin and he’s a warlock here to help get rid of that pesky monster!

Dwarf: Oh, well that’s alright then.
Darwin: *mutter* Good lord…
Ronni: Right, over here on the right is Yenni, the middle is Benni and the left is Gerni.
Gerni: My mother wasn’t right in the head.
Yenni: Must you explain your crappy name calling EVERYTIME we meet someone new?
Gerni: If I want to pull, then yes.

(distant roar)

Ronni: That would be the monster.

Darwin: Right, er, well let’s take shelter in the hut from the, er, rain.
Dwarves: Roger that!
Benni: Who’s Roger?

Darwin: We’re now safe from the, er, rain.
Gerni: Yes.
Darwin: So tell me a bit about this monster then?

Benni: Well, I know he comes from the lumberjack’s area on the other side of the woods.
Darwin: Lumberjack area?
Gerni: Yes, it was where they cut down the enchanted ever-growing trees for houses and wood. But one day the monster struck and that place is pretty much deserted now.
Darwin: What does the monster look like?

Yenni: They…they said he used to be human. But he is no longer human. He is no longer part of our community.
Ronni: Yes, all he can do is moan and roar and the things he’s done are terrifying!

Gerni: Apparently he’s been on the move and it’s only a matter of time before he finds us and we get eaten up!
Darwin: So why don’t you fight back then?
Benni: What good would we do? We are small and he is big. We would get knocked back for sure…

Woman: Someone help, please!

A woman came running in, in a short dress which was very unusual for someone in the area. She had a feel of naturalness from her.

Ronni: Leticia, what’s the matter?
Leticia: The monster! The monster is headed our way!
Yenni: NO! We’re too late!

Darwin: Now now, everyone, this is no need to look worried. I’ll go and take a look at what I’m dealing with.
Benni: Please be careful!

Gerni: I don’t want to die, Gandalf, I don’t!
Darwin: Relax, you won’t! And what’s with the Gandalf speak?

Darwin: Where did you come from?
Leticia: I used to live in the lumberjack’s huts before they got evacuated.
Darwin: I see. Interesting attire for a lumberjack hut.
Leticia: I’m half nymph, it’s tradition.
Darwin: Ah yes, I thought I felt a bit of soul-eating behind my back.

Leticia: There! There it is!
Darwin: Where?
Leticia: Just coming along the bank, you see him?

And there I saw him.

The monster staggered towards us, moaning out as if in great pain. The rain splattered down hard and it was hard to hear what he was saying, but I managed to hear when he came in clear view:

Zombie: Somebody…somebody get me a pina colada.